She's So Beautiful... (PART I)

Upon boarding the commuter I spotted an empty seat right on my right, I headed straight towards that direction when at the same time, a white figure dressed in perfect a white outfit together with her pearly white skin and flawless beauty makes her looks like an angel from far. Initially, I was stunned by her beauty until she was heading for the same seat as mine, when she give that kind of innocent look at me when I about to take that seat and out of sudden I hold back myself and I said: "Yeah, please go ahead." Then came the first word from this angel of mine, in her sweet yet soft tone, as she said: "Thanks" with a pretty smile right onto my face but at that moment I wished the time had stopped as I was totally caught unprepared for her reply and was totally out of my mind.

DUH! I was actually quite embarrassing as I just turned away and face her with my back without even showing any kind of appreciation or gestures as a notification of her sweetness and my kindness to give her the only seat left in that coach itself. What a stupidity I thought but at the same time trying to act cool as though nothing had just happened while she settled down herself to that nice and comfy seat while I just stood right in front of her. I quickly turned on my mp3 players and started blasting my way through it. Still trying my best to avoid thinking of that stupidity and I could had missed the only chance to keep in touch with the one and only kind of girl I ever branded her as my angel.

Oh God, is this a gift from the heaven??? Or should this be a test from the God himself to see how strong I'm??? Was surprised when the thought of God suddenly came flowing through my mind. Still couldn't believe what had just happened, after 5-10 minutes trying to avoid eye contact with her and all the people around, I took a deep breath and cool myself down. While I was busy trying to save myself from the worst ever disaster of the day, I came to notice that she took has a mp3 player and was fixing it to her nice little pair of ears.

Once I settled down, I look around my surroundings and I noticed most of the people were either doing their own stuff: sleeping, reading, idling, staring outside at the scenery except till when my eye caught to these two young guys who was still looking at our side. I guessed they either saw what I've just did for that angel of mine and was wondering what I'm going to do next or it's that beauty that even how truthful a man is can't even resist God's greatest creation of all: WOMAN!!! I couldn't stand their stare as I was still chilling and trying to keep myself calm so that not to worsen my condition which its already very near the peak of explosion caused I could feel my heart was beating at the fastest rate I've ever felt or experienced. No doubt it's that angel.

To make things worse, I just continue to live myself in the world only me myself could hear and enjoy. Blasting through the music from my mp3 players and ignoring what's going on around me including her. Wasn't really sure I was able to do so successfully caused at some instances I was again carried away with that beauty where I occasionally trying my best to find my way through to catch a glimpse of her without the notice of anyone around me including that two fellas who I think at that time already busy chatting.

After 15mins of train ride, she felt asleep. Not sure she was really asleep or was pretending not to see me as though giving me a chance to look at her since I was worst than useless where the most obvious thing most people will do when they faced with such a great challenge is to shy away and keep their heads down. I hope she meant the second reason. After that which stupid ego came to play again that hinder me to further thinking of her and stop whatever I was doing. Why do my ego need to always come and interrupt my life?

Especially this part of my life. Was rather disappointing with myself due to my nature of always letting my ego took the best of me and left me with none at the end of the day. I hate you "EGO". If you are a dictator of all my feelings I could feel everytime I've faced with problem, I wished one day you could just take off and leave me alone where I think I'll do so much better without you. You only makes me feel guilty and always suffer by you, EGO! Wish you could just diminished forever. You know why I always failed to gain something I wanted so badly, it's you who just come from nowhere and steal it from me like a theft who does not know of the consequences and the casualty involved.

I hate you, I distress you, I will dump you!!! Then I thought, there goes my one and only chance to get to know my princess charming but not till when the train was about to reach Subang Jaya station and this kind lady which was sitting opposite her give out her seat and I thought everything going to replay by itself where this time round I'll have a better control of myself. So quickly took that seat and settled down. Once it's done, I look across directly opposite where she was sitting while the train drew closer to the station and I just hoped that she wasn't going to alight at that station.

She stared across after my first attempt to get her attention failed. This could be greatly contributed by my own stupidity and ego. And I think she deserved to treat me that way after all I've done to avoid her and make her looks abandoned while she's seeking some reply from me(I hope I'm right). On my second attempt, I make sure I didn't foiled my own plan again. Finally, there were a quick exchanged of stare and then she show me her dark side with a snobbish sway after I stared at her not knowing that she'll reply with such unexpected look. Was it due to my own wrongdoing? Will I be the cause of my own demise?

Huh... huh... huh... Oh shit, the moment the train stopped and the door slide open, my heart almost just stopped beating cause I saw her grabbing her sling bag getting ready to leave the train. It was a very sad sad encounter where not only I didn't try my best to make myself worth to her but I make things worse for myself and her which in turns I guess she replied me with that snobbish look. The moment she stepped out of the coach I tried to give her one last glance but couldn't see her anymore.

Although deep inside my heart I was so eager to get to know her but I could only hope the best for her. This, was the worst ever encountered I had on board the commuter and worst ever regret I would never forget. Still I try my best to keep my head up not to repeat the same stupid mistake by telling myself, if I try again next week same time, same place I could have my second chance or that's it.

So the morale of the story is: "If you've ever encountered something as pure and rare as a gems but you couldn't resist it cause at the same time your feeling is telling you not to pursue it cause this could be some kind dream, don't stopped there but put your best foot forward and go all the way to do it caused in life no one knows what's going to happen to us tomorrow or the next moment. If we missed this moment, we couldn't come back and re-live but can only stay hopeful that a second chance will come which it's only a lie to make ourselves feel better. Just do it!!!"