The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain : I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood: I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach: I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs: I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes: I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole: I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.
To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief.
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly.
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable.
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred.
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body.
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
Moral of the story: No matter who you are, or how important you think you are, you will find that it is always the ASSHOLE that is in charge.
P.S. So, dun forward to your boss!
Friday, November 26, 2004
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Why love is blind
A LONG time ago, before the world was created and humans could set foot on it, virtues and vices floated around, not quite knowing what to do. One day, all of them were gathered together, and feeling more bored than ever.
Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: “Let’s play hide-and-seek!” Everyone liked the idea and immediately, Madness shouted: “I want to count, I want to count!”
Since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started counting, “One, two, three ...”
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues ran off to look for places in which to hide.
Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, while Treason hid in a pile of garbage.
Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of the earth.
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake instead, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.
Madness continued to shout out: “... 79, 80, 81...” By then, all the vices and virtues were well hidden, except for Love. Fickle as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
Madness counted, “... 95, 96, 97 ...”
Just when he got to 100, Love jumped into a rose bush. Madness turned around and shouted: “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
Laziness was the first to be found, because he did not have the energy to hide. Then Madness spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake, and Passion at the centre of the earth.
One by one, Madness found them all, except for Love. He was getting desperate. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness, “He is in the rose bush.”
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the bush. He jabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop.
Love appeared from the bush, with both hands covering his face. Blood oozed from his eyes and trickled down his fingers. Madness had stabbed out Love’s eyes with his pitch fork.
“What have I done? What have I done?” Madness screamed. “I have blinded you! How can I repair the damage?”
Love answered: “You cannot repair my eyes. But if you really want to do something for me, you can be my guide.”
And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.
Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: “Let’s play hide-and-seek!” Everyone liked the idea and immediately, Madness shouted: “I want to count, I want to count!”
Since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started counting, “One, two, three ...”
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues ran off to look for places in which to hide.
Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, while Treason hid in a pile of garbage.
Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of the earth.
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake instead, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.
Madness continued to shout out: “... 79, 80, 81...” By then, all the vices and virtues were well hidden, except for Love. Fickle as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
Madness counted, “... 95, 96, 97 ...”
Just when he got to 100, Love jumped into a rose bush. Madness turned around and shouted: “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
Laziness was the first to be found, because he did not have the energy to hide. Then Madness spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake, and Passion at the centre of the earth.
One by one, Madness found them all, except for Love. He was getting desperate. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness, “He is in the rose bush.”
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the bush. He jabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop.
Love appeared from the bush, with both hands covering his face. Blood oozed from his eyes and trickled down his fingers. Madness had stabbed out Love’s eyes with his pitch fork.
“What have I done? What have I done?” Madness screamed. “I have blinded you! How can I repair the damage?”
Love answered: “You cannot repair my eyes. But if you really want to do something for me, you can be my guide.”
And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.
Friday, November 05, 2004
skills required for further success...
CHALLENGE
Quick to rise to a challenge. The harder the challenge the more you push yourself. You show determination by your directness and willingness to 'say what you think'. Challenging and outspoken.
DRIVE
You are a natural self-starter. You enjoy hard work and can work for long periods without tiring. You are happiest when productively engaged. Days when you feel you have achieved little are bad days. You are constantly striving to achieve more. You can be quite competitive.
PROACTIVE
You are attracted to work on new things. You tend to be lively and energetic. You want to make things happen and get things done. You are impatient with the status quo. You are likely to act first and ask/think later. You enjoy being in the middle of activity.
DEVELOPMENTAL
You are naturally attracted to talented people. You enjoy exposure to the best and the decision makers. You see the benefits of continuous learning for both yourself and others around you. You actively encourage and help others to develop. You recognise both your own and others' strengths.
PERFORMANCE ORIENTATION
You prefer to focus upon things that have measurable outcomes. You like to have clear targets against which you can be measured, and you will strive to achieve these targets. You enjoy numbers and scores that relate to performance and want to be held accountable for these.
Quick to rise to a challenge. The harder the challenge the more you push yourself. You show determination by your directness and willingness to 'say what you think'. Challenging and outspoken.
DRIVE
You are a natural self-starter. You enjoy hard work and can work for long periods without tiring. You are happiest when productively engaged. Days when you feel you have achieved little are bad days. You are constantly striving to achieve more. You can be quite competitive.
PROACTIVE
You are attracted to work on new things. You tend to be lively and energetic. You want to make things happen and get things done. You are impatient with the status quo. You are likely to act first and ask/think later. You enjoy being in the middle of activity.
DEVELOPMENTAL
You are naturally attracted to talented people. You enjoy exposure to the best and the decision makers. You see the benefits of continuous learning for both yourself and others around you. You actively encourage and help others to develop. You recognise both your own and others' strengths.
PERFORMANCE ORIENTATION
You prefer to focus upon things that have measurable outcomes. You like to have clear targets against which you can be measured, and you will strive to achieve these targets. You enjoy numbers and scores that relate to performance and want to be held accountable for these.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Effective Networking
Talking abt networking most of us will usually shun away whenever they heard the word "networking" coz to them making network wt ppl means gettin themselves into some sort of trouble either involving in helping others to achieve their objective or become a victim of some direct sales or marketing. Therefore it's time for me to share with you an article from JobsDB.com titled "Effective Networking":
The word “Networking” is one that strikes terror not only into the hearts of jobseekers but also entrepreneurs. It conjures up images of wandering round a function room trying to offload your business card to as many people as you can. We usually hate the idea of networking because we think it makes us look pushy, false or just plain desperate. However, networking when done properly is one of the most important elements of any effective job search strategy. Consider the facts that almost 80% of jobs are never advertised, and around 60% of executive vacancies are filled through networking. It is a job-search strategy that works.
Some rules for effective Networking
* Share and share alike - Think of networking as being about gathering and sharing ideas – see yourself as a knowledge resource: the more people you meet, the more information you will have that you can pass around. Make yourself a useful contact to other people. Be prepared to share your information and contacts in return.
* Who do you network with? - Start with people that you know. Not only is it less daunting, but it is time effective to build on your existing network rather than try to create a completely new one from scratch. If you think you do not know anybody? What about getting help from the people you currently work with or have worked with. Think about the people you socialize with and their girlfriends/partners/parents/friends. If everyone you know in turn knows just another 10 people, it is not hard to see how you potentially have access to hundreds even thousands of people.
* Do not ask for a job - The most important thing to remember is that networking is NOT about asking people for a job. It is about asking people for information, advice or assistance. It is as much about asking what you can do for them as what they can do for you.
* Identify New Avenues to Pursue - Do try to expand your network to include people whom you would not ordinarily come into contact with, perhaps from professions, cultures or backgrounds very different from your own. This is a great way of broadening your horizons and helping yourself to think creatively and more imaginatively about your career options.
* Be clear on what you want to achieve - Remember, you are NOT asking your contacts for a job. You might want to ask them for ideas about career opportunities you have not thought of, more information about options that you are already considering, or advice on your CV. Do remember also, to ask every contact if they can in turn put you in touch with two or more further contacts and in this way, you can grow your network.
* Do research beforehand - Make sure you know as much as possible about the person you are meeting with, and how they may be able to help you. Keep your discussion focused, and not just a pleasant but ineffectual chat. People will be further impressed if you are well-prepared. If you are not, they may feel you are wasting their time as well as your own.
* Meet your contacts face-to-face – It is much easier to strike up a rapport. It is usually much more memorable to them, and they will probably give you far more information than they would have done in a telephone call or an email. But only ask for 15 minutes of their time as most people are too busy to give up a 1-hour slot. Chances are that if they agree to 15 minutes, you will get the best part of half-an-hour.
* Follow-up - Follow up all the leads you receive, even if they do not look too promising in the first instance. You can never tell how useful someone might be until you speak to them. Nor who they in turn might be able to put you in touch with. Furthermore, if someone has gone to the trouble of giving you a lead or a contact, it is simply rude not to follow up with it. Make sure also, that you write or at least email to thank the person who has given some of their time to you.
* Set yourself some targets – Do not set yourself a target that is unachievable, and do not confuse quantity with quality. Make sure you give yourself time to prepare properly before you chat with someone, and follow up properly afterwards. For example, aim to contact roughly 3 new people every week.
* Keep good records of all contacts - Keep notes about whom and what you talked about by putting in place a good record-keeping system right from the start. Do not think that you will be able to remember all this information.
* Be patient - Finally, remember that networking is a long-term strategy, not a short-term fix. Do not get frustrated if the first person you talk to does not offer you a job on the spot. Put more time and effort into building up, and nurturing your network and it will pay dividends throughout your career.
The word “Networking” is one that strikes terror not only into the hearts of jobseekers but also entrepreneurs. It conjures up images of wandering round a function room trying to offload your business card to as many people as you can. We usually hate the idea of networking because we think it makes us look pushy, false or just plain desperate. However, networking when done properly is one of the most important elements of any effective job search strategy. Consider the facts that almost 80% of jobs are never advertised, and around 60% of executive vacancies are filled through networking. It is a job-search strategy that works.
Some rules for effective Networking
* Share and share alike - Think of networking as being about gathering and sharing ideas – see yourself as a knowledge resource: the more people you meet, the more information you will have that you can pass around. Make yourself a useful contact to other people. Be prepared to share your information and contacts in return.
* Who do you network with? - Start with people that you know. Not only is it less daunting, but it is time effective to build on your existing network rather than try to create a completely new one from scratch. If you think you do not know anybody? What about getting help from the people you currently work with or have worked with. Think about the people you socialize with and their girlfriends/partners/parents/friends. If everyone you know in turn knows just another 10 people, it is not hard to see how you potentially have access to hundreds even thousands of people.
* Do not ask for a job - The most important thing to remember is that networking is NOT about asking people for a job. It is about asking people for information, advice or assistance. It is as much about asking what you can do for them as what they can do for you.
* Identify New Avenues to Pursue - Do try to expand your network to include people whom you would not ordinarily come into contact with, perhaps from professions, cultures or backgrounds very different from your own. This is a great way of broadening your horizons and helping yourself to think creatively and more imaginatively about your career options.
* Be clear on what you want to achieve - Remember, you are NOT asking your contacts for a job. You might want to ask them for ideas about career opportunities you have not thought of, more information about options that you are already considering, or advice on your CV. Do remember also, to ask every contact if they can in turn put you in touch with two or more further contacts and in this way, you can grow your network.
* Do research beforehand - Make sure you know as much as possible about the person you are meeting with, and how they may be able to help you. Keep your discussion focused, and not just a pleasant but ineffectual chat. People will be further impressed if you are well-prepared. If you are not, they may feel you are wasting their time as well as your own.
* Meet your contacts face-to-face – It is much easier to strike up a rapport. It is usually much more memorable to them, and they will probably give you far more information than they would have done in a telephone call or an email. But only ask for 15 minutes of their time as most people are too busy to give up a 1-hour slot. Chances are that if they agree to 15 minutes, you will get the best part of half-an-hour.
* Follow-up - Follow up all the leads you receive, even if they do not look too promising in the first instance. You can never tell how useful someone might be until you speak to them. Nor who they in turn might be able to put you in touch with. Furthermore, if someone has gone to the trouble of giving you a lead or a contact, it is simply rude not to follow up with it. Make sure also, that you write or at least email to thank the person who has given some of their time to you.
* Set yourself some targets – Do not set yourself a target that is unachievable, and do not confuse quantity with quality. Make sure you give yourself time to prepare properly before you chat with someone, and follow up properly afterwards. For example, aim to contact roughly 3 new people every week.
* Keep good records of all contacts - Keep notes about whom and what you talked about by putting in place a good record-keeping system right from the start. Do not think that you will be able to remember all this information.
* Be patient - Finally, remember that networking is a long-term strategy, not a short-term fix. Do not get frustrated if the first person you talk to does not offer you a job on the spot. Put more time and effort into building up, and nurturing your network and it will pay dividends throughout your career.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
the POWER of WHY... for example...
Ultimately, it is your brand story that helps you answer that most fundamental of
all questions, “Why?"
Why do you decide to make one decision and not another? Why do your customers need
you? Why is it that you're better able to meet their needs than anyone else? Why
does your logo look this way? Why do your press releases read the way they do? And
most important to marketers and managers alike: why would someone make that critical
decision to use your products and services over those of anyone else?
all questions, “Why?"
Why do you decide to make one decision and not another? Why do your customers need
you? Why is it that you're better able to meet their needs than anyone else? Why
does your logo look this way? Why do your press releases read the way they do? And
most important to marketers and managers alike: why would someone make that critical
decision to use your products and services over those of anyone else?
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