Engineers as Story Tellers

Contributed by: Mr David T.E Lim BE (Civil) 1977 (taken from Melbourne Uni website)

Engineers are story tellers. They may not know this, but they are.

When I landed my first CEO job, I told this story to my staff. Two men are walking in the woods. Suddenly they hear a rustling in the leaves, and see a bear charging at them. One of them stoops to tie his shoelaces. The other, bewildered, tells him he's wasting his time. "You can't outrun the bear", he declared. The other man, having finished tying his shoelace, replies, "I'm not trying to, I'm just going to outrun you!"

I tell this to illustrate what competition in the 'real world' is like. The customer buys one car, one TV, one laptop at a time. If he buys your competitor's product, he doesn't buy yours. We are all trying to outrun the other fellow, and we start our training young. In school, you want to be higher up on the grade curve than the other guy. At work, you want that promotion faster.

But there is another element to this story. It's about the shoelaces. The man who tied his laces was obviously an engineer. First, he defined the problem: the bear wants to eat me. Second, he explores it further: I don't have anything to fight off the bear. And the bear can run faster than me. Third he begins to think of possible solutions. Perhaps they can both fight off the bear - two are better than one. Or they could run in different directions. Fourth: he evaluates the solutions. Even together, they could not possibly win the fight - the bear is too big. And if they run in separate directions, one of them will still get eaten, and it could be him. Neither are good solutions, so he goes back to step three. Are they other possible options? Yes, he can try to outrun the other guy. One of them will get eaten. It's only sensible that he doesn't leave that to luck. Finally, he implements his solution. To outrun the other guy, he's got to make sure he's got an advantage. He notices that their shoelaces have come loose from all the hiking on uneven ground. That presents an opportunity. He stoops to tie his shoelaces. And then he runs like the wind.

All this analysis, and only in a wink of an eye.

But this is what engineers are trained to do. They solve problems in a systematic, calculated way that carefully examines the problem, considers the various alternatives to solve the problem, and picks an option to implement.

Practiced long enough, it becomes second nature. We do it intuitively, in every circumstance, and not just in the field we specialise in. Yes, we figure out how to build longer bridges, taller structures, smaller devices, faster computers, harder plastics, stronger fibres and so on. But beyond all this, we are also good problem solvers in life - solving conflicts in community, providing leadership in social organisation. For the essence of our training is analysis and choice.

My career has taken me away from engineering per se into all kinds of fields - software development, economic development, port operations, shipping, industrial park development, corporate management - even politics! But in every new situation, I found myself stepping through the same paradigm - defining and exploring problems, generating and evaluating solutions, and then taking decisive steps to deal with the matter at hand.

Of course, 'real life' is not just about outrunning the bear. It's not all about competing and winning. In the end, we probably wouldn't have just run off. We might have stayed together to fend off the bear, or run in different directions, or perhaps we might have stayed put to let our friend get away. But you get the idea - we begin with the best of engineering solutions, and then we need to layer that with our values and beliefs. That's what makes us a really good engineer.

a day thinking of you...

thinking of you,
day and night,
missing of you,
without fear or fright,

wish you could be there,
to care and pamper me,
anytime now right here,
to hug and kiss me,

there are up and down,
norm in a relationship,
let not be frown,
as we steer clear our ship,

time is our essence,
as we seek our understanding,
assumption is our menace,
as it caused misunderstanding,

as i ponder,
what life will be without you,
you make me feel wonder,
just another day thinking of you...

Our Attitude Defines Life

Our Attitude Defines Life

Life is Best for those who want to Live it,

Life is Difficult for those who want to Analyze it,

Life is worst for those who want to Criticize it,

Our Attitude Defines Life...

Enjoy Your Life,

Laugh so Hard That even Sorrow Smiles at You,

Live Life so Well That even Death Loves to see you Alive,

Fight so Hard That even Fate accepts its Defeat.....

Our Attitude Defines Life

Our Attitude Defines Life

Life is Best for those who want to Live it,

Life is Difficult for those who want to Analyze it,

Life is worst for those who want to Criticize it,

Our Attitude Defines Life...

Enjoy Your Life,

Laugh so Hard That even Sorrow Smiles at You,

Live Life so Well That even Death Loves to see you Alive,

Fight so Hard That even Fate accepts its Defeat.....

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class And had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else --The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua

Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)

Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)

Armenian - Yes kez sirumem

Bambara - M'bi fe

Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu

Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah

Catalan - T'estimo

Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i

Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse

Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Chinese

Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a

Mandarin - Wo ai ni

Comanche - U kamakutu nu

(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu) -- Thx Tony

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)

Cree - Kisakihitin

Creol - Mi aime jou

Croatian - Volim te

Czech - Miluji te

Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig

Dutch - Ik hou van jou

Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)

Esperanto - Mi amas vin

Estonian - Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian - Afgreki'

Faroese - Eg elski teg

Farsi - Doset daram

Filipino - Mahal kita

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore

Frisian - Ik hald fan dy

Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort

Georgian - Mikvarhar

German - Ich liebe dich

Greek - S'agapo

Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe

Hebrew

To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)

To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian - Szeretlek

Icelandic - Eg elska tig

Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Inuit - Negligevapse

Irish - Taim i' ngra leat

Italian - Ti amo

Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu

Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene

Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka

Kiswahili - Nakupenda

Konkani - Tu magel moga cho

Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida

Latin - Te amo

Latvian - Es tevi miilu

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lithuanian - Tave myliu

Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer

Macedonian - Te Sakam

Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu

Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu

Maltese - Inhobbok

Marathi - Me tula prem karto

Mohawk - Kanbhik

Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik

Nahuatl - Ni mits neki

Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni

Ndebele - Niyakutanda

Norwegian

Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg

Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!

Pangasinan - Inaru Taka

Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo

Persian - Doo-set daaram

Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay

Polish - Kocham Ciebie

Portuguese - Eu te amo

Romanian - Te iubesc

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort

Serbian - Volim te

Setswana - Ke a go rata

Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')

Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan

Sioux - Techihhila

Slovak - Lu`bim ta

Slovenian - Ljubim te

Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo

Swahili - Ninapenda wewe

Swedish - Jag alskar dig

Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di

Surinam - Mi lobi joe

Tagalog - Mahal kita

Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li

Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen

Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu

Thai

To female - Phom rak khun

To male - Chan rak khun

Informal - Rak te

Tunisian - Ha eh bak

Turkish - Seni Seviyorum

Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese

To female - Anh ye^u em

To male - Em ye^u anh

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di

Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh

Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Zazi - Ezhele hezdege

Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

I wonder... I Ponder... I'm Relief... I'm Happy...!!!

Sometimes I wonder,

Is it just fate,

As I ponder,

But it's not too late,

Our progress have been well,

Full of interest & anticipation,

As we continue to dwell,

Hoping for more attention,

Is it a pair made in heaven,

With great thoughts & sharing,

Are we meant to be even,

Treating each other with grace & caring,

Days passed by with anticipation,

Carefully carved with great intention,

Together we enjoy with exhilaration,

No doubt this is god greatest creation,

LOVE is what makes us,

CARE is what bonds us,

HONESTY is what treats us,

ETERNITY is what moves us...

Today's Quote of the day...

"The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. And the more grateful you are, the more you get." — Oprah

She’s the one…

Known her from a friend,

She seems kind and happy,

Always laughing and smiling without end,

I guess that’s her stress therapy,

Never know she can be so funny,

Often keeps me engaged with her laughter,

Sometimes I feel that she’s my sunny,

That keeps me warm and happy ever after,

Knowing her for a short period,

It felt like we’ve known for ages,

Being with her it’s like listening to an iPOD,

Notes of happiness that streams without pages,

Every time we meet our bond gets closer,

Through the sharing and caring,

Every time we talk we understand better,

Through the common understanding,

Never seen such a lovely person with an inner beauty,

The more I know her the more I glad I did,

She does have her own uniqueness and beauty,

Hoping she will always remains as she did,

Could this be the path meant for each other?

Something that we’ve been looking all these while,

Hope is what keeps us together,

It’s fate that will define this everlasting mile…

sometimes...

I wonder far for answers,
Coming back with regrets,
Finding myself with blunders,
Disbelief as I remain unrest,

I seek hard for replies,
Only to come back with unknowns,
I told myself it was just another lies,
Another way to make myself known,

Sometimes it’s just that hard,
Nothing comes easy without sweat,
Wishing that they could lower their guard,
Wisdom said I need to put a caveat,

Sometimes something may appear easy,
We should not judge the appearance,
It’s like writing a thousand words essay,
Not the quantity that counts but the remembrance,

I wish there could be an answer,
For everything in LIFE as I stumbled,
I would continue to work hard I swear,
For everything in LIFE as I embraced!

A moment ago...

As I was dreaming,
Comfortably resting without care,
In a rude awakening,
Caught by surprise and unaware,

That LIFE can be so scary,
If we don’t tread carefully,
Sometimes I wish it was merry,
But that’s just a thought merely,

Oh my... oh my... what’s left?
Just a plain nothingness,
Everything good is gone by theft,
I beg to differ with forgiveness,

LIFE is much larger and more,
That we should not give up but believe,
That LIFE is like a huge galore,
With many goodness to give,

~~~~~~~~~~~*ring!!!*~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awaken I was by the alarm,
On my pure comfy bed,
Realising that it was just another dream,
Oh LIFE! As I stumbled...

My lovely parents…

You brought me to this world,

As I first saw the beautiful you,

You never complaint a single word,

As I cry day and night for you,

You saw me cry,

As I first learned to talk,

You saw me as a little boy,

As I first learned to walk,

You nurtured me well with love and care,

As I was growing up to be a man,

You taught me how to be right and dare,

As I stands on my own to be a good man,

After 30 years of my life,

I started to realize that you’ve aged,

Although I could see the wrinkles of life,

You will always remain close to my heart’s cage,

Mum and dad I couldn’t express more,
But to continue to love you unconditionally,

Both of you are the best,I couldn’t have ask for more,

Please forgive me for the harsh attitude occasionally,

As I promise to continue to do well,

To be what you’ve taught me all this while,

Never to let you down as I quell,

Seeking and going for that extra mile... Love you Mum & Dad!!!

An 18-Minute Plan for Managing Your Day

it's been a while since i last post hence decided to post something useful for sharing or to remind myself... =)

(from the Author...)

Yesterday started with the best of intentions. I walked into my office in the morning with a vague sense of what I wanted to accomplish. Then I sat down, turned on my computer, and checked my email. Two hours later, after fighting several fires, solving other people's problems, and dealing with whatever happened to be thrown at me through my computer and phone, I could hardly remember what I had set out to accomplish when I first turned on my computer. I'd been ambushed. And I know better.

When I teach time management, I always start with the same question: How many of you have too much time and not enough to do in it? In ten years, no one has ever raised a hand.

That means we start every day knowing we're not going to get it all done. So how we spend our time is a key strategic decision. That's why it's a good idea to create a to do list and an ignore list. The hardest attention to focus is our own.

But even with those lists, the challenge, as always, is execution. How can you stick to a plan when so many things threaten to derail it? How can you focus on a few important things when so many things require your attention?

We need a trick.

Jack LaLanne, the fitness guru, knows all about tricks; he's famous for handcuffing himself and then swimming a mile or more while towing large boats filled with people. But he's more than just a showman. He invented several exercise machines including the ones with pulleys and weight selectors in health clubs throughout the world. And his show, The Jack LaLanne Show, was the longest running television fitness program, on the air for 34 years.

But none of that is what impresses me. He has one trick that I believe is his real secret power.

Ritual.

At the age of 94, he still spends the first two hours of his day exercising. Ninety minutes lifting weights and 30 minutes swimming or walking. Every morning. He needs to do so to achieve his goals: on his 95th birthday he plans to swim from the coast of California to Santa Catalina Island, a distance of 20 miles. Also, as he is fond of saying, "I cannot afford to die. It will ruin my image."

So he works, consistently and deliberately, toward his goals. He does the same things day in and day out. He cares about his fitness and he's built it into his schedule.

Managing our time needs to become a ritual too. Not simply a list or a vague sense of our priorities. That's not consistent or deliberate. It needs to be an ongoing process we follow no matter what to keep us focused on our priorities throughout the day.

I think we can do it in three steps that take less than 18 minutes over an eight-hour workday.

STEP 1 (5 Minutes) Set Plan for Day. Before turning on your computer, sit down with a blank piece of paper and decide what will make this day highly successful. What can you realistically accomplish that will further your goals and allow you to leave at the end of the day feeling like you've been productive and successful? Write those things down.

Now, most importantly, take your calendar and schedule those things into time slots, placing the hardest and most important items at the beginning of the day. And by the beginning of the day I mean, if possible, before even checking your email. If your entire list does not fit into your calendar, reprioritize your list. There is tremendous power in deciding when and where you are going to do something.

In their book The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz describe a study in which a group of women agreed to do a breast self-exam during a period of 30 days. 100% of those who said where and when they were going to do it completed the exam. Only 53% of the others did.

In another study, drug addicts in withdrawal (can you find a more stressed-out population?) agreed to write an essay before 5 p.m. on a certain day. 80% of those who said when and where they would write the essay completed it. None of the others did.

If you want to get something done, decide when and where you're going to do it. Otherwise, take it off your list.

STEP 2 (1 minute every hour) Refocus. Set your watch, phone, or computer to ring every hour. When it rings, take a deep breath, look at your list and ask yourself if you spent your last hour productively. Then look at your calendar and deliberately recommit to how you are going to use the next hour. Manage your day hour by hour. Don't let the hours manage you.

STEP 3 (5 minutes) Review. Shut off your computer and review your day. What worked? Where did you focus? Where did you get distracted? What did you learn that will help you be more productive tomorrow?

The power of rituals is their predictability. You do the same thing in the same way over and over again. And so the outcome of a ritual is predictable too. If you choose your focus deliberately and wisely and consistently remind yourself of that focus, you will stay focused. It's simple.

This particular ritual may not help you swim the English Channel while towing a cruise ship with your hands tied together. But it may just help you leave the office feeling productive and successful.

And, at the end of the day, isn't that a higher priority?

…feelings…

It’s so fragile at times,
When things go wrong,
It worth nothing but a dime,
Although nothing can last long,

Sometimes you are near,
Other times you are far,
Far or near I can’t hear,
Wrong feelings make a liar,

Feelings you my worry,
You are also my glory,
Mix feelings can be scary,
True feelings know no boundary,

You can make a person glow,
When the right feelings follow,
But you can also make a person low,
When it’s nothing but hollow,

I could never understand,
Even if I grabbed you with both hands,
You could still swing without stand,
You will always remain in the no man lands.

Misses his grandma… may she rest in peace….

It’s been a while since,
She left us for a better afterlife,
But we’ll never forget her being nice,
And I still missed her once in a while,

Known her since my first day,
She taught me a few old tricks,
Being a better person by day,
Didn’t get much time spent to click,

Although I didn’t get to know her well,
But her memories will always remained,
As part of me as I learned to spell,
For each and every steps as I embraced,

I can tell from my dad’s expression,
How much he loved her by lots,
Even myself can feel its intention,
My beloved Grandma, we miss you alot!!!

MAY YOU BE WELL AND HAPPY ALWAYS!!! :D

timely message...

"Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending: If you buy things you don’t need, you’ll soon sell things you need.
Savings: Don’t save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender’s slave.
Accounting: It’s no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket."

Happiness (from The Wise Old Man)

A man of 92 years, short, very well-presented, who takes great care in his appearance, is moving into an old people’s home today.

His wife of 70 has recently died, and he is obliged to leave his home.

After waiting several hours in the retirement home lobby, he gently smiles as he is told that his room is ready.

As he slowly walks to the elevator, using his cane, I describe his small room to him, including the sheet hung at the window which serves as a curtain.

"I like it very much", he says, with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old boy who has just been given a new puppy.

"Sir, you haven’t even seen the room yet, hang on a moment, we are almost there."

" That has nothing to do with it ", he replies.

" Happiness is something I choose in advance. Whether or not I like the room does not depend on the furniture, or the decor – rather it depends on how I decide to see it. "

" It is already decided in my mind that I like my room. It is a decision I take every morning when I wake up. "

" I can choose. I can spend my day in bed enumerating all the difficulties that I have with the parts of my body that no longer work very well, or I can get up and give thanks to heaven for those parts that are still in working order. "

" Every day is a gift, and as long as I can open my eyes, I will focus on the new day, and all the happy memories that I have built up during my life. "

" Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way. "

So, my advice to you is to deposit all the happiness you can in your bank account of memories.

Thank you for your part in filling my account with happy memories, which I am still continuing to fill...

Remember these simple guidelines for happiness:

1) Free your heart from hate

2) Free your mind from worry

3) Live Simple

4) Give More

5) Expect Less

Every day is a new day!

It's been a while since i last wrote a piece but here goes... just thought of penning it down since it's still fresh in my mind...

When things are down,

We should not bow,

Instead find ways to rebound,

Beating the odds with our how,

Soon clear skies will revive,

Nothing is lose but everything to gain,

Making our life worth to live,

Every single day is a new beginning!

Guess this is also another way how I motivate myself to think and be a better person overall... cheers and let's strive to be better!!!

Oprah Winfrey's Commencement Address at Duke 2009

Below is a transcript of Oprah Winfrey's May 10, 2009 commencement address to Duke graduates at Wallace Wade Stadium.

Oh, yes, I’m going have everyone call me Doctor now. Thank you, President Brodhead. Ladies and gentlemen and graduates, and especially to all the mothers here – will all the mothers stand so we can say Happy Mother’s Day? Happy Mother’s Day to you. What a great day to celebrate mothers. You love me still, even though I’m a doctor now?

Well, I wanted to just say, first of all, thank you for the doctorate degree, and I’m so happy to be here, and I’m here because someone I love is graduating today, my godson, William Bumpus, the son of Will Bumpus and my best friend, Gayle. You know, William never wants people to know that he knows me, and his sister, Kirby, never did either. I’m like the crazy aunt they keep in the attic, and they let me out to do commencements, so here I am. I just want to say I knew William before he was born. I saw the sonogram, and he was smiling even then. So those of you who know him know he has such a gorgeous smile.

I know you all have memories of graduates flooding through your minds today as we celebrate this milestone graduation, Class of 2009. One of my fondest memories of William, one time when he was a little boy, he was at my house, and I used to collect these antique museum quality Shaker boxes, and I walked into the room and William has my one of a kind Shaker boxes and he’s stacking them up like Bric A Blocs and knocking them down and going, “Vroom.” And I yelled, just – I just started – I said, “No, William, stop!” I think I stunned the boy, cause he wasn’t used to anybody yelling at him, and he stopped, he put the boxes back on the shelf and he found where he found them and he did not say a word to me. He didn’t even cry. And a little later on, he goes up to his mom and he says, “Mom, Auntie O is mean. Can we go home?”

Well, William, Auntie O has some news for you. You’re getting those scratched-up boxes for your graduation gift. You can knock them down all you want. Seriously, I don’t know a better young man in the world than William Bumpus, and thank you, Duke, for making him an even greater young man. And I have to say that he is so kind and so generous of spirit. William, you’re the son I wish I’d had, and so I’m thrilled to be here for you. Love you, Willzer.

I’ve been doing my show now for almost 25 years. Feels like 125, but almost 25 years. And my greatest lessons have come from my work; talking to murderers, doing makeovers, learning about flesh-eating diseases, have all been great growing tools for me, because I look at life every day from the experience of what can I grow from this. Actually, the show is why I never needed therapy. Well, I might have needed therapy, but I never went to therapy, because I have learned so many lessons from our show and the people I’ve met. And the miracle for me is that almost 25 years later, I get to go to work every day and I am still learning.

I just finished taping a show this week with so many powerful lessons that I wanted to weep, and I want to share some of those lessons with you today. As a matter of fact, there were so many lessons in the show that I taped just last week, that’s going to air next week, you’ll see it, I did weep. It was about some tough guys in prison for murder, for manslaughter, armed robbery, guys full of anger and violence. And they’re involved in this program where dogs, little puppies, are taken from shelters and the eight-week-old puppies are given to the prisoners, eight-week-old puppies that would have otherwise been euthanized. The puppies live right in the prison cells with the prisoners 24 hours a day. And I forgot to ask them … how they housebreak them, because it’s not like you can say, “I need to take the dog out.”

But the prisoners train these puppies to then be service dogs to help our soldiers in Iraq who come back with traumatic brain injuries and post-traumatic stress, and then send them to the veterans from Iraq. Some of these inmates had never known love or responsibility. They’d never taken care of anybody, nor knew what it felt like to have somebody love you back when you take care of them.

But one of the things they teach the dogs is how to kiss the soldier’s face. A lot of the soldiers come back with post-traumatic stress and have terrible experiences, and if the soldier is starting to go to a bad place in his mind, the dogs lick and kiss the soldier’s face to bring him back to reality. So this means that the prisoners themselves also had to get the kisses from the puppies they were training. It’s clear the kisses were also bringing the prisoners back from a hard, cold place, and to see these criminals, who had never, many of them, experienced love themselves, cry on camera, in front of each other, cry in redemption, their voices quivering as they talk about the chance to do something good, to do something kind and unselfish, by helping the wounded soldiers in Iraq and teaching the dogs, was so moving.

And when the severely injured soldier – what we did was we went and found one of the soldiers who had received a dog and brought him back to the prison so that he could meet the prisoner who – who trained the dog. And when they met, I tell you, the audience and I were a puddle of tears. And what I learned from that I want to share with you, graduates. If you can find a way to give back just as these felons are giving from behind bars, you will be a huge success, because for sure one of the things I’ve learned is that the best way to enhance your own life is to contribute to somebody else’s.

Now, last year we did a story on a woman named Monica George, and people often ask, you know, “Who’s your favorite guest, who’s your favorite guest,” and they always expect me to name some movie star. Well, if it’s a movie star, it would be Hugh Jackman. He’s one of my favorite guests, and you can imagine why.

But my favorite guests are, for the most part, not celebrities and not people who’ve done famous or infamous things. My most favorite guests are ordinary people who’ve accomplished extraordinary triumphs in their life, and Monica George is one of those people I will never forget. She and her husband, Tony, were overjoyed at the C-section birth of a healthy baby girl that they named Sophie, and Sophie was their second daughter. This was just last year.

But within hours, and while she was still in the hospital, Monica developed a fever and pain caused by a fast-moving, flesh-eating bacteria. She was dying, so they took some organs to save her, but the bacteria had spread, so the doctors came in and said to her, “We think, as a matter of fact, we know we’re going to have to amputate. We’re going to have to take both your arms and both your legs.” And this woman said, “Get on with it. I want you to do it and do it as fast as you can, because I have to get home to take care of my girls.”

So imagine going into the hospital to have a baby, you have the healthy baby and you expect to be coming home with this tiny little pink bundle of joy, with pink little arms and legs, and instead you go home without your arms and legs. The arms that were going to hold this child and legs that were going to walk with her in the park. Monica had 37 operations in two months, but she’s now home with her girls, home without a trace of self-pity, home with a smile on her face and a peace in her heart. And when I talked to her, she said, sure, sometimes it hurts that she’s not able to paint Sophie’s nails and toenails and do the things that mothers and daughters do, but she also said, “What good are you to your children if you’re miserable?”

There’s so many lessons in this, because at some point, something in life is going to eat you inside. It could be anger, it could be guilt, it could be past hurts or some other strain of soul eating bacteria. But graduates, I want you to know that if you can summon the courage of Monica George in the face of your own life’s hardships, and you will have them, and if you can remember what good are you to anyone if you’re miserable, I know for sure you’ll be a huge success, because you are responsible for your happiness and you are responsible for the energy you bring to everything.

One of my other favorite guests was a woman named Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who’s a brain scientist, who had a stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain. She wrote a book called “My Stroke of Insight.” And so only the right hemisphere was working, and when she was in the hospital as a patient, she said she could sense through her right brain when a nurse would come into the room and meant her well, or when the nurse was thinking about what time she was going to be off that day. She could sense the energy that was brought into the room. And after a while, she put up a sign in the room that said to everyone who came in the room, you are responsible for the energy that you bring. I love that moment, because we are responsible for the energy that we bring to everything we do in life.

One thing that gets a huge response on the show is makeovers. You know, we did a makeover on Coretta Scott King, the late Coretta Scott King, wife of Dr. Martin Luther King, and this was like going to Mount Rushmore and giving George Washington a new ’do, because she hadn’t changed her ’do since 1954. But we’ve done a lot of makeovers. One woman hadn’t changed her hair in 37 years. She had this big old hair thing going on. Another young woman worked in a chicken house, and after we got all the feathers off, she was stunning. Another woman had worn her hair in a bun for 25 years and put on makeup to go to bed at night, because she said if she died in her sleep, she wanted to be ready.

People love makeovers, because the physical results are always so astonishing. But I like doing them because of the possibility of transforming more than the way people look. You want to change the way people feel about themselves. One man, a guy we’d just seen walking down the street, with a beard that was almost to the ground, it looked like he was hiding behind all of that beard. And after we got rid of all that hair and he could actually see himself, he said, “I feel alive again.” The makeover allowed him to see himself in a way that he’d forgotten was there. You know, we all need makeovers from time to time in our lives, and graduates, I know this, that if you can see the possibility of changing your life, of seeing what you can become and not just what you are, you will be a huge success.

One of my life heroes is Nelson Mandela, and I had the great honor of spending some time with Nelson Mandela, 10 days and 29 meals at his house, and I was so worried about what I was going to talk about or what we would say at the dinner table. And Stedman said to me, “Why don’t you try listening?” Thank you, Stedman. That worked.

So I had the benefit of sitting at his table for 29 meals and listened a lot, listened to the stories of how he spent 27 years in a South African prison, and talked to him about how he was able to come out of that with a sense of forgiveness, to bind the wounds of South Africa and saving it from a mean and violent civil war. So I asked him to come on our show, and I was – although I’d sat at his table and was very comfortable in his presence, I was really nervous having him come on the show, and I rarely, rarely, rarely get nervous. And for me, his warmth just filled our studio with a glow, and one of the things I will always remember him saying is how terrible it was to spend the best years of his life in that prison, but he said if he’d not been in prison, he would have not been able to achieve the most difficult task in his life, and that was to begin the change of himself.

But this is so – this tells the story of who he really is. He arrives at the studio and everybody’s so excited and nervous and it’s Nelson Mandela, and Nelson Mandela walks into the green room and says to the producers, “And what is the show about?” “Uh, you. The show’s about you, sir.” Nelson Mandela was so humbled that being on the show for a whole hour was not something he expected. “How can such a great man be so humble,” I thought. Graduates, if you can proceed through life with just a portion of Nelson Mandela’s humility, you will be a huge success.

When I was eight years old, I was at church one day … and a man named John J. Hooker was running for governor at the time, and he had come to our church to campaign. And afterwards, outside as we were leaving the church, his wife, who was then a stranger, her name was Tish Hooker, a beautiful woman with blonde hair, classic cheekbones, flawless skin, saw me standing there. And you have to understand at the time I was a little black girl, but we didn’t call ourselves black then. Actually, back then we were colored and Negro, but whatever. I was a little girl who didn’t think much of herself, but Tish Hooker walked right up to me, as if she knew I needed to hear what she had to say. And she said it only as a Southern woman can. She said, “You know, you’re just as pretty as a speckled pup.” Now, I didn’t know what a speckled pup was, but she then said, “And you have the most beautiful bee-stung lips.”

Well, I knew I had big lips. I didn’t know what bee-stung lips were. But she said it with such warmth and such kindness that I remember going home from church and staring at myself in the mirror, because Tish Hooker had said that I was pretty, and she was the first person that ever looked at me and had the courage to speak the words, “You’re pretty.”

I’d never felt pretty. I knew I was smart, but this stranger, this woman who just came out of nowhere it seemed, was the first person to ever say it to me. And it made me see myself differently from that day forward, Tish Hooker saying, “You have such beautiful bee-stung lips,” and I’ve remembered that my whole life. You never know what kindness you offer today to someone, how that might live with them forever. So, graduates, if you can be generous enough to say kind, affirming words to those who may long to hear them, you will be a huge success.

And finally, let me just tell you a story about my success. I had a charity sale, because I have clothes in every size, eight, 10, 12, 14, elastic. Sometimes it gets crowded in my closet. So I had a charity sale awhile back to get rid of all that stuff, and a woman named Joanie Jacks didn’t have much money, because she didn’t have a job at the time, and the least expensive thing she could find was a pair of black shoes.

Now, she wore a size seven and I’m a 10½ on a good day, 11 with humidity. So she bought a pair of my shoes and kept them in her bedroom, and she said that when she got depressed, when things weren’t going well, she would take out the shoes and she would stand in my shoes. And she said she wanted to stand in the shoes until she’d be able to stand on her own, and she used the shoes as a sense of inspiration to herself. At age 50, she went back to college and got herself a degree, and today she’s standing in her own shoes.

That is what makes me feel successful. Of all the wonderful things that have happened, including getting a doctorate, an honorary doctorate from Duke, what really makes me feel successful is being able to use my life in service to someone else’s. And I will have to say, it is a wonderful thing to have a beautiful home, or homes, a wonderful thing to have a beautiful home which just escaped the fire in Santa Barbara. And it is really fantastic to have your own jet, and anybody who says it isn’t is lying to you. That jet thing is really good.

But you really haven’t completed the circle of success unless you can help somebody else move forward. That’s the truth. Move to higher ground. That’s the real goal. How do you get someone else to move to higher ground.

So I spend my life doing that, thinking about how can I help somebody else move to higher ground. How can I help somebody else get to a stronger and better place, because that is success. That’s it. That’s why we’re all alive, to use ourselves, our lives, for something bigger than ourselves.

So, graduates, in closing, each of us has to stand in our own shoes, and the real question is how will you stand in your own? Will you stand in them with humility and compassion and integrity and courage? Well, I’m here to tell you, every day and every experience of your life will give you a chance to make that choice. It still happens to me, every day, all the time.

Most recently, I was faced with a big decision as to whether or not – we had done this wonderful show, informative show, on Columbine, with an author of the book who had written this really fascinating, intriguing book on Columbine. And we finished taping the show, and I went upstairs and I said to the producers, who were all excited because he was doing his first interview with us, and they get really excited, “It’s exclusive and it’s wonderful, it’s great.” And I said, “Yes, but something about that bothered me. I’m not quite sure what it was, but something didn’t feel right.” I said, “But I have to – I have to take a look at it, I have to take some time to look at it, because in the moment, I really can’t tell. I just have a feeling that something’s off with that show.”

So I said, “I want to take a chance to review the tape,” and as my life would have it, I didn’t get a chance to review the tape. This was on a Thursday. The show was going to air on a Monday. Saturday, I’m sitting in Santa Barbara alone, quiet for a moment, and it occurred to me what’s wrong with that show. There’s something wrong with the energy that I brought to that show. And I called the producer and I said, “I know what’s wrong with the show. I think the show focuses too much attention on the killers and it presents darkness, the energy of darkness, in a way that I really don’t want to be responsible for.”

And the producer said, “But the promos have gone out. It’s already airing all over the country. We’ve told all the stations that it’s airing and they have it in their lineup.” And I said, “I am responsible for the energy that goes out over the air, so we’re going to have to pull it, regardless of what we’ve told the stations, and they’ll have to understand.” So we pulled the show, because I felt that at the end of the day, if one person watching that show saw or heard something that made them feel inspired to go out and bring more darkness into the world, I didn’t want that on me.

So it still happens every single day, decisions – decisions come my way that require me to decide who am I really, what am I really doing this for? Decisions that allow me to make a decision as to whether or not I will do the right thing or will I do the popular thing. So for every experience in life, you get a chance to know whether or not right or whether or not you’ll follow the opinions of everyone else.

For me, it’s all about following your gut. I am who I am because I trust my gut more than anyone else’s opinion, and that is my best advice to you. You know what is right, and when everyone around you is telling you what you should do, what you shouldn’t do, and when you … have to ask anyone other than yourself, it is your instinct, your higher self’s way of saying, “Get still until you do know the answer, because your gut will never lead you wrong.” Trust your gut to help you stand proudly in your own shoes, as you help others stand in theirs, and I know you will be a huge success. You have my warmest best wishes and my most heartfelt congratulations.

Thinking in Web 2.0: Sixteen Ways

[extracted from Web 2.0 journal]

That simple fact is that creating software of any kind is hard work.  And creating good software is very, very hard.  Never mind creating insanely great software (to loosely borrow a phrase from Steve Jobs), which is so rare that it practically never happens, which is a real shame. And that in the end, that's the goal of enumerating ideas like this, so we can build on the shoulders of giants and start off with some of the hard decisions already done and get closer towards the truly great software.

And to be sure, the state of the art in software does regularly improve as well as our shared understanding of what makes software good.  Of course, the problem with determining the "goodness" anything is that it must be measured with respect to something, some criteria.  And in general, thetenets of Web 2.0, such as they are and as ill-defined as they are, tend to state that software that is open, social, interactive, remixable, hackable, and gets better the more its used, is likely the place to begin.

So, in this vein, I took my own studies of Web 2.0 as well as many raw inputs as I could find and came up with a roughly structured list of how to "think" in terms of Web 2.0 ideas.  Let me know what you think and as always add your own in the comments below.  Let's create a really terrific guide for those who are just discovering this  fascinating and useful study of the next generation of online software.

Thinking in Web 2.0

 

1. Before you even begin, understand your goal simply.  Whether you are a Web 2.0 application creator or user, clearly conceive your goal.  Things like "I'm here to save a bookmark for use later" or "I am going to help people create shared, editable web pages" helps keep you grounded and oriented.  So much about the initial attraction of Web 2.0 is its simplicity, with unnecessary complexity deliberately and carefully hidden.  From a creation standpoint, think Google's home page or the spare, clean lines of del.icio.us.  And from a end-user's view, the eponymous instaview provided by an initial page load ofDiggdot.us.  You can and will add more later but get first things first.  Build a feature at a time.  Complete a goal at a time.This may sound simplistic but it'll help stayed focused later, and you'll see what I mean.
2. The link is the fundamental unit of thought.  It's called the Web for a reason. The link is the foundational element for connecting the entire Web together.  Your information, your relationships, your sense of navigability, and even chunks (of chunks) of content are all referenceable by a URL.  The implications here are manifest and include but are certainly not limited to:

 

1. Everything on the Web is linkable with a URI or URL (and if isn't, it should be!) 
2. Saving any link lets you get back to what the link originally referenced, and it lets you share it with anyone, anywhere, at any time.
3. The anytime piece in #2 is crucial and means the link is really a permalink that won't change or go away without good reason and prior warning.
4. Links should be human readable, consistent, and their purpose self-evident.
2. Data belongs to those that create it.  Yes, you heard me. Everything a user creates, contributes, or shares is theirs, unless they have given away the right explicitly and by free choice.  Any information they contribute to the Web should be editable, deleteable, unshareable by the contributor whenever they feel like it.  This also means indirect data like their attention records, log entries, navigation history, site trails, or anything else that might be tracked.  And all Web sites must clearly and simply state what information a user is creating and give them a way to stop creating it and even clean up.
3. It's about data first, experiences and functionality second. Whether it's text, images, audio, or video, the Web ultimately revolves around data.  In other words, you can't have presentation without something to present.  All this data is locatable with a URL that is easily found (see #2).  Another way of looking at this is that the the Web is ultimately about nouns first, and verbs second, though the shift is slowly moving towards verbs these days.  Examples of nouns:  calendar entries, family photos, stock quotes.  Examples of verbs: making an appointment, sharing a picture, buying a stock.
4. Be prepared to share everything with enthusiasm.  Share everything possible, every piece of data you have, every service you offer.  Encourage unintended uses, bend overbackward to contribute, don't keep anything private that doesn't absolutely have to be.  Gobeyond sharing and make discovery, navigation easy, obvious, and straightforward.  Why: In return, you will benefit many times over from the sharing of others.  Note: This is not a license to violate copyright laws, you will not be able to share your ripped DVDs or commercial music recordings, those are things you agreed you can't share.  But you might find yourself using and sharing a lot more open source media.  And for heaven's sake, learn the Creative Commons license.
5. The Web is the platform; make it grow.  Sure, there are other platforms (Windows, Linux, Mac), but they don't matter as much any more (this list is after all, how to think in Web 2.0).  In other words, don't leave the platform, don't break the platform, but please, by all means extended the platform.  The data and services you provide on the Web become part of the Web and you become a steward of your corner of the Web platform as a result.  And please be a good steward and look after those that care about what you've added.
6. Understand and embrace the "capability gradient".  The Web is a big place now, in every country of the world, and it now contains 1 billion users.  The point here is that all parts of the Web are slightly and uniquely different, as are all Web users.  For the machine part of the web: simplicity is almost always preferred for speed, reliability, reuse, and integration.  So too is it with the experience you provide people on the Web.  It's been documented time and again that loyal users soon become expert users that want to do more, faster.  Support them.  Gracefully retrograde.  Also, many, many people will come in below the capability gradient that you expect.  They may not speak your language, have your cultural assumptions, or even know how they got there.  Make it clear to them too.
7. Everything is editable.  Or it should darn well be.  And if it isn't, go somewhere else.  Sure, a few things might not make sense being editable, but for the rest, it's the Writeable Web.  That doesn't imply that original content is ever lost and often this only means that users should be able to easily comment on or otherwise annotate the content they find.  And if you're smart, they'll be able to do a whole lote more than that (i.e. fork off and create their own works based on the original, etc.)
8. Identity on the Web is sacrosanct.  Unfortunately, that doesn't mean you get much privacy (really a 20th century notion anyway).  But verifying identity must be expected and be thankful when only an e-mail verification is required.  However, this absolutely means you must protect the privacy of your users if you promised it.  Be warned that you may have to stand up for your users against authorities somewhere in the world, if that's what it requires.  And you might even win in the long run.  And if you're not prepared to do that, you'd better tell them.  On the other side, if identification is required, don't ever fake it, or one day we'll all need to give up our last scraps of privacy to do anything we want to do on the Web.  So, this must be an unbreakable compact between Web user and anyone running some corner of the Web.  Or we will ultimately completely lose what little anonymity and privacy we can muster now.
9. Know thy popular standards and use them.  From a consumer or creator standpoint, the data you will exchange with everyone else will be in some format or another.  And the useful of that data will be in inverse propotion to how well-known and accepted its standard is.  This generally means using RSS, OPML, XHTML, simple XML, JSON.  This means tending to avoid SOAP, XSD, and even as much as its pains my inner geek to say it, RDF, ATOM, and others.  And please, contribute your standards with your vote either way, below.
10. Obey the law of unintended uses.  If you make highly interesting data and services open and shareable in widely used format, you will get what you deserve: Other than will use your corner of the Web platform to build on.  Maybe (and probably in fact) a great many others.  Prepare for this.  I don't know how many times I've seen a podcasting service get disrupted because they were popular, a site go down flat when it was Slashdotted, or del.icio.us/popular grind to a halt.  Know this: The law of large numbers on the Internet means that even small corners can get vast traffic if they are remotely interesting.  Strong encourage the attention but it can be extremely valuable,, but always prepare.
11. Granulate your data and services.  We should have learned this long ago but large monolithic chunks of data are only convenient for unattended downloads and other batch operations.  Break up your data, makes its individual internal pieces URL addressable, and do the same with services.  Conversely, don't create large, elaborate, Christmas Tree data structures or services.  Keep it simple, very simple.  And make the pieces sensibly organized, and make those pieces easily findabe.
12. Provide data and services that are for user's individual benefit.  At the risk of slipping into a socio-political tarpit, there is little incentive for users to contribute time, attention, and information unless they are the primary beneficiaries.  Social sharing is a terrific benefit that is greater in the large than the individual benefit, but you won't get there unless there is personal incentive.  Nuff said.
13. User-driven organization and filtering are not just nice to have.  Not critical, but very important.  Let users tag and organize data in ways that make sense to them, because you'll never figure it out in time.  Users understand their own thinking processes and mental models best.  Making sure your place on the Web can work for them can in ways that actually work the way they work and think. Things like tagging and folksonomies can be a long term critical success factor.
14. Offer/use rich user experiences.  The Web is still in heated competition with native software.  Why? Because it still feels better and runs better. But not for long.  (Sure, this might take 5 years or 15, but it'll happen.)  Yes, I'm talking about Rich Internet Applications, Ajax, and all that marvelous dynamic interaction.  It works and helps make the Web a true "platformless" platform, if you you know what I mean.
15. Embrace and enable rapid change and feedback.  This often just means be ready for a very fast pace but it also means using lightweight tools, techniques, and not making the painfully inrreversible decisions (using an all-encompasing Ajax framework instead of one that is blendable, or building everything in C++ when Ruby might be a lot better.)  This also means having a very rapid method for taking defect reports, fixing the bugs, and putting new versions out.  And darn it, make it super easy for your users to get a hold of you.  From a user perspective, report every problem you find and be sure to gently complain about what bothers you most, even if it isn't a bug.

Of course, Web 2.0 is an extremely large and involved topic and no one could possibly list all the importants Web 2.0 ideas and ways to think about it.  So I encourage you, since you're here and evidently interested, to take a few minutes and add the things I missed.  Web 2.0 is all about participation after all.

CBL Close 09

A time to test our skills,
A time to build relationships,
As we let ourselves grills,
All for true spirit of championships,

Working hard and smart to win a point,
Never to let the pressures pull us down,
Mistakes and misses are common and not to complaint,
To be a real winner and not a whiner own,

As the championships draws to a close,
All of us were anticipating the winner,
Unfortunately we came to a tie-breaker close,
Another game was forced to be the decider,

The last game was played with grit and sweats,
All were given including our last breath,
This is what we called tournament heats,
Sometimes we can even feel the game wrath,

Despite all, the game brought a closer tie,
Strongly binding team as we shine,
Like splitting evenly of a huge pie,
Everyone has their fare share as opines.

Updates...

Haven't been into blogging for ages... I guessed there are too many things that come into my life that requires and able to gain more attention than my own blog. Maybe, it's because age is catching up and i'm unable to live up to it hence always find time is the missing piece in my life. Always wanted to have more time for more things. But I guess, if I continue to do so, this will never end caused 10 years down the road, the same thing will happen again with the same excuse given. Hence, I hope and trying to put a fullstop to this and will do my best to take control of my time. Instead of being controlled by the time, I think I should be managing the time itself. Easier to say than done... Hehehe...

Guess it's not much an update but some grouses I have about myself and life... Anyway, either way, Life still move on whether I like it or not... So better start to take control now!!!:D

The GREATEST Advice - Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is
T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves .